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January 1st, 2007
Make hay while you can! Nobody likes overtime. January 2nd, 200* If you lose something big, pretend pirates took it. January 9th, 200* Don't ask others to do something you wouldn't. MAKE them do it. January 16th, 200* Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Genius smells terrible. January 23rd, 200* Oompa pow pow. Oompa oomp pow pow. January 30th, 200* A friend in need is a friend indeed. An enemy in need is hilarious. February 6th, 200* Pride comes before a fall. Wear a padded pride suit! February 13th, 200* Don't sweat the small stuff. Perspiring is icky. February 22nd, 200* Bird, bird, bird. Bird is the word. February 27th, 200* When it rains, it pours. Bring an umbrella. March 6th, 200* Always carry extra shorts. Don't get me started! March 13th, 200* Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. And make sure everyone uses lots of deodorant. March 20th, 200* It's darkest before dawn. Sleep in. March 27th, 200* Birthdays come once a year. In-laws come all the time. April 3rd, 200* Want wealth? Try saving! Waste not, want not! April 10th, 200* Joy is received. Not taken. Peace! April 17th, 200* You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar. That's why honey makes a poor facial moisturizer. April 24th, 200* Don't make mountains out of molehills. It leads to angry moles. May 1st, 200* You only get one first chance. Unless you have amnesia! May 8th, 200* The high life is stressful. Relax a little. May 15th, 200* Feed a fever, starve a cold. Lightly sup with rickets. May 22nd, 200* You can kill two birds with one stone. Or you can watch them and be much happier. May 29th, 200* Shedding blood, sweat, and tears is not as easy as it looks. And it looks hard!! June 5th, 200* Ha ha ha. Hee hee hee. Oh, pitfalls. I love thee. June 12th, 200* Winners never quit. Quitters occasionally win. June 19th, 200* Can't say anything nice? Write it down! June 26th, 200* Squeaky wheels get grease. Greasy wheels are gross. July 3rd, 200* Everyone loves kids! I just ate three! July 10th, 200* History? Written by winners. Message boards? Losers. July 17th, 200* Mice can move a mountain! But it does take time. July 24th, 200* Postcards aren't cards. Weird. July 31st, 200* The Mexican wrestler cries beneath his mask. Wounds of the heart hurt the most. August 7th, 200* It never hurts to ask. Unless you ask for hurt. 08/14/0* Fate has a fickle finger. I have a pickle finger. August 21st, 200* There's no "I" in team. But there IS one in traitor! August 28th, 200* Cherry tomatoes are great. But how many are too much? September 4th, 200* Some wrestlers hate tights. Fight stereotypes! September 11th, 200* Give a man a fish, and he'll eat it for a day. Give a fish a man, and he'll eat it for weeks! September 18th, 200* Coffee shops are great! Go buy a cup of joe! September 25th, 200* The early bird gets the worm. The late mouse gets the cheese! 10/02/0* *Message of the Week* It hurts to think. I try not to. October 9th, 200* Exercise relieves the stress. Nothing relieves exercise. October 16th, 200* Housework before homework. Sleep before everything! October 23rd, 200* For the earth! For yourself! Recycle! Recycle! Recycle! October 30th, 200* A bird in the hand... Is really painful. November 6th, 200* Don't cry over spilt milk. Unless you can cry milk. November 13th, 200* Burritos in the morning? Sailors take warning! November 20th, 200* Clouds have silver linings. Why don't they sink? November 27th, 200* Milk is good for you. Milk shakes, not so much. December 4th, 200* Keep a positive attitude... Ignore the horror of it all! December 11th, 200* Smiles are free. But they're worth a lot. December 18th, 200* It takes strength to fail. I'm the strongest ever! December 25th, 200* Rushing leads to mistakes. Take your time! December 26th, 200* You're as old as you feel. I feel sick. January 8th, 200* Trying to save money? Eat your rotten turnips! January 15th, 200* Say no to headphones! ...WHO SAID THAT?! January 22nd, 200* Eating at midnight is bad. But it feels so good! January 29th, 200* Tired of studying? Stop! Then go work as a carnie! 02/05/0* Needle in a haystack? Buy a new one! Sheesh! |
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